How to Increase Sex Drive, According to Dr. Tara Suwinyattichaiporn

Feeling like your spark is fading? It's a common experience. Many people experience periods of low sex drive, and it's important to know that this is a natural part of life.

As an associate professor of sexual and relational communication, I share practical insights on increasing libido naturally and holistically. Through my work, I've found that sexual health is multidimensional, and addressing it requires attention to your physical, emotional, mental, and relational well-being. Let's dive into the factors that influence sex drive and explore solutions that can help reignite your passion.

What is a 'normal' libido?

There is no such thing as a "normal" libido. Sexual interest and activity frequency varies significantly from person to person. Your sex life is normal if you're happy with having sex once a week. It's also normal if you're satisfied with having sex once a month. Problems arise when you feel that your low sex drive is affecting your relationship. In that case, you might be experiencing hypoactive sexual desire disorder, which can be addressed with lifestyle changes, reviewing medications and hormone therapies, better communication, emotional connection, and a healthy lifestyle.

Factors that decrease sex drive

When it comes to low sex drive, there are a multitude of factors at play. Let's dive deeper and explore what might be contributing to this issue!

1. Hormonal imbalances: Low testosterone and estrogen levels often correlate with low libido. Thyroid disorders, such as hypothyroidism or hyperthyroidism, can disrupt hormone balance, affecting energy levels, mood, and sexual desire. Besides, hormonal changes during menopause, pregnancy, or medical conditions can significantly impact sexual desire.

2. Birth control and medications: Certain birth control and medications list side effects that decrease libido. For example, some antidepressants commonly affect sexual desire. If you notice changes, discuss alternative options with your healthcare provider.

3. Relationship problems: If you don't feel emotionally safe or connected to your partner, it can lower your sexual desire. Relationship problems, including unresolved conflicts or a lack of emotional intimacy, play major roles in low libido.

4. Unhealthy lifestyle: Sexual health requires a holistic approach. Poor diet choices, insufficient exercise, and high-stress levels all link to lower libido. You must take care of your physical, emotional, mental, and relational health.

So, what exactly contributes to a dip in libido? Understanding the underlying causes for both men and women can help you take more effective steps toward a healthier sex life.

7 common causes of low libido in men and women

Loss of sexual desire can stem from several causes, including:

• Relationship issues: Unresolved conflicts or emotional distance can directly impact sexual desire. Feeling disconnected or misunderstood can lower your libido, as emotional intimacy is deeply tied to sexual intimacy.

• Boring sex life: A predictable sex life can make intimacy feel stale. Introducing variety and openly communicating desires helps reignite passion.

• Low testosterone or estrogen levels: Hormones play a significant role in sexual desire. Hormonal imbalances, particularly low levels of testosterone in men or estrogen in women, can decrease libido. For men, testosterone replacement therapy could help address hormonal deficiencies and enhance sexual health.

• Health issues and medical conditions: Chronic illnesses, such as diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, or cardiovascular disease, can affect blood flow and energy levels, contributing to a decrease in sexual desire. Since sexual arousal depends heavily on healthy blood circulation, managing these conditions is key to maintaining a healthy libido. Mental health conditions like depression and anxiety also play a significant role.

• Menopause and perimenopause: Hormonal changes during menopause can cause symptoms like vaginal dryness, hot flashes, and mood swings, which can reduce sexual desire. Addressing these symptoms through lifestyle changes or medical treatments can help.

• Erectile dysfunction: For men, erectile dysfunction is one of the most common forms of sexual dysfunction, often leading to decreased confidence and avoidance of intimacy, which further reduces libido. Addressing sexual dysfunction with lifestyle changes or medical support is key to improving overall sexual health for both men and women.

• Traumatic sexual experiences or relational transgressions (like cheating or emotional abuse): Past trauma or breaches of trust in a relationship can cause psychological barriers to intimacy. Addressing these experiences with the help of a therapist can be an essential step in healing and improving sexual desire.

Recognizing these factors can help you take proactive steps toward improving your sex life. Just like any other aspect of well-being, sexual health requires attention and nurturing. With that in mind, let's explore some practical strategies to enhance intimacy and communication with your partner, ensuring a fulfilling experience for both of you.

11 natural ways to boost libido and increase sex drive

There are several natural remedies to help combat low libido. Here are my top tips:

1. Exercise: Good blood flow supports healthy sexual function. When you're sexually aroused, blood flows to your genitals. Lots of research shows that exercise can boost libido. Even a brisk walk can make a big difference.

2. Healthy diet: People who eat a lot of fried foods and sugar tend to have lower libido. Make sure your diet includes balanced meals with protein and vegetables. Consider natural aphrodisiacs like dark chocolate, oysters, and watermelon.

3. Sexual mindfulness activities: Sexual mindfulness practices like meditation and breathwork can increase sexual desires. Research shows that these activities improve sexual satisfaction.

4. Sex education: Learn more about sex. Sexual desire is not linear. Reading book summaries like 'Mating in Captivity' and 'Love Worth Making' on the Headway app can deepen your understanding.

5. Daily exposure to sex positivity: Engage with sex-positive through books, podcasts, and social media. My podcast, Luvbites, is a great resource. Reading sex-positive book summaries on the Headway app is another way to stay informed.

6. Supplements: Natural supplements like maca root and ginseng can boost libido. Remember that not all supplements undergo FDA, meaning their safety and effectiveness may not be fully verified. Always consult your doctor before trying any new supplements, and choose those that are FDA-approved when available.

7. Masturbation: Regular self-pleasure helps maintain libido. When you masturbate, you keep your sexual desire active.

8. Communication: Talk to your partner about your desires. Maybe your sex drive is low because your sex life has become routine. Reflect on what you need from your partner and yourself to maintain a healthy libido and communicate your wants.

9. Novelty: Trying something new in your relationship can increase sexual desire. Plan romantic getaways or try new activities in the bedroom.

10. Love languages: Learn each other's love languages — quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service, physical touch, or gifts — and strengthen emotional connections. This concept is explored in the book 'The 5 Love Languages' by Gary Chapman, which offers valuable insights into how we can better express and receive love.

11. Sexy check-ins: Once a month, have a "sexy check-in" with your partner to discuss your sex life. Ask how they feel about their sexual experiences and if there's something you can do to improve it. This systematic review can help you better understand your partner and keep the intimacy going.

Incorporating exercise, a healthy diet, sexual mindfulness, and open communication can not only improve your overall health but also effectively boost your libido and deepen your sexual connection.

Now that we've explored general tips for increasing sex drive, let's take a closer look at specific approaches for different life stages and genders. Whether you're navigating hormonal changes, pregnancy, or looking to improve your sexual health as a man or woman, personalized strategies can make a significant difference.

How to increase sex drive: Approaches for different life stages and genders

Throughout life, the body evolves alongside each experience, often bringing about changes in sexual desire. Recognizing that libido is influenced by a myriad of factors — including age, gender, and life circumstances — is crucial for understanding how to address fluctuations in sexual drive effectively. Different life stages present unique challenges and opportunities impacting intimate relationships. I am here to help you better understand how to face these challenges and what to do in every specific case to improve your sex drive.

1. How to increase sex drive during menopause

During menopause, decreased estrogen levels can lead to vaginal dryness and discomfort, making sexual activity uncomfortable. Mood swings and fatigue often accompany hormonal changes, which can further reduce libido. Additionally, body image and blood flow changes can affect arousal and desire. All these factors affect libido. However, there are ways to boost it. Here's what you can do:

• Use lubricants to address vaginal dryness and make sex more pleasurable.

• Try sexual meditation to feel more centered and sensual during hormonal changes.

• Read 'In the Flo' on the Headway app to learn more about navigating this phase.

Embracing this transition with self-compassion and an open mind can enhance your experience and intimacy. Prioritizing your well-being in this phase of life can lead to a more fulfilling emotional and physical connection.

2. How to increase sex drive in women

Women's health is multifaceted, and maintaining a healthy lifestyle can help boost libido. However, there are some specific tips for women:

• Hormonal contraceptives can affect libido. If you notice a drastic change, talk to your doctor about switching birth control methods.

• Learn stress management techniques to help maintain a healthy libido.

• Use sex toys, such as a vibrator, to increase arousal.

• Read 'The Vagina Bible,' 'She Comes First,' and 'The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex' on the Headway app to learn more.

3. How to increase sex drive during pregnancy

Pregnancy brings both physical and emotional changes that can impact your libido. Still, with the right mindset and a few simple adjustments, you can maintain intimacy and connection with your partner during this special time. Here are some go-to tips for boosting libido during this stage of your life:

• Use pregnancy-safe lubricants to make penetrative sex more comfortable.

• Explore non-penetrative sex options like nipple, clitoral, or anal stimulation.

• Practice sexual meditation for couples to increase passion and intimacy.

4. How to increase sex drive in men

While low libido is a common issue, it can profoundly affect confidence, relationships, and overall well-being. The good news is that there are simple, science-backed ways to boost male sex drive and reignite passion naturally. Let's dive into practical steps men can take to improve their sexual health and enhance intimacy:

• Exercise regularly to improve blood flow.

• Eat foods that boost libido, like dark chocolate, oysters, and watermelon.

• Supplements like maca root and ginseng should be considered to support erectile function.

• If you've had low libido for an extended period, talk to your doctor. You might have low testosterone levels, which can be easily treated.

When to seek professional help

If low sex drive is negatively impacting your overall life and relationship well-being, it's time to seek help and talk to your healthcare provider.

See a healthcare professional to discuss your health conditions and hormone levels. Reviewing treatment options such as hormone therapy or testosterone replacement therapy can be beneficial. Consulting a sex therapist to address relationship issues, body image concerns, and mental health factors can also make a significant difference.

Explore ways to improve libido with Headway app insights.

Improving your sex drive requires a holistic approach. By addressing physical, emotional, mental, and relational health, you can reignite your passion and improve your sexual well-being.

For more expert-backed advice, explore book summaries of sexual wellness and relational communication on the Headway app. Empower yourself with the knowledge to build a more fulfilling and satisfying intimate life.