Overthinking is a mental habit where we repeatedly analyze, rehash, or obsess over thoughts and situations. While reflection and planning are natural, overthinking takes this process to an extreme, often leading to stress, anxiety, and indecision. This cycle of rumination can significantly impact your well-being and mental health, making it difficult to relax or enjoy everyday life. Over time, it drains your energy, diminishes your self-confidence, and hinders your ability to take action. This article will explore what 'Don’t Overthink It' by Anne Bogel, 'Stop Overthinking' by Nick Trenton, and 'The Gifts of Imperfection' by Brene Brown offer ways to break free from the vicious cycle of negative thoughts and begin living clearly and confidently.
Understanding overthinking
The state when you are overwhelmed by thoughts, the importance of which is greatly exaggerated, the process of constant analysis and trying to control them, is called overthinking, rumination, or "mental rumination." In this process, the joy of life gets lost. You begin to push your body into a state of constant stress inadvertently. After all, the purpose of such a state is not to look for answers but to drive the mind to a dead end with additional questions.
"When we allow negative thoughts to take root, they grow quickly, leading to feelings of stress and anxiety that are hard to shake." – Anne Bogel, 'Don’t Overthink It'
Excessive thinking involves constantly evaluating thoughts and statements about everything: yourself, the environment, attitudes toward you, work, friends, loved ones, and the situation in your country. Such thoughts usually have a negative tone and lead to the conclusion that something is wrong with you.
How do negative thoughts affect us?
It is essential to understand that excessive thinking leads to constant fatigue — first emotional and then physical. The point is that overthinking has no logical conclusion. Worry, anxiety disorder, and irritability can shackle and stimulate new negative thought patterns in a person. The decision-making process is blocked, and fatigue increases with each new thought. Besides this, it can lead to conditions such as heart disease, high blood pressure, nervous breakdown, sleep problems, and eating disorders.
10 proven strategies to stop overthinking
Bad thoughts destroy your well-being and prevent you from self-improvement, working, and studying. It is challenging to forget adverse events in your life. They pop up in your memory, repeat, and poison your life. How can you forget about a quarrel with a loved one or a terrible embarrassment in front of your superiors? Thoughts about health, lack of money, and so on are constantly gnawing. But it is necessary to break out of this state. The self-help books 'The Gifts of Imperfection' by Brene Brown, 'Stop Overthinking' by Nick Trenton, and 'Don’t Overthink It' by Anne Bogel can inspire you to stop overthinking and be confident.
Strategy 1: Recognize and name your thoughts
Reflection, or thinking about your life, is usually good, but sometimes reflection fails, and our thoughts get stuck in a cycle of repetition, scrolling over and over in our heads. This can turn into a severe problem.
Awareness is the first step in stopping the cycle of overthinking. Start paying attention to how you think. When you find yourself replaying events repeatedly in your head or worrying about possible outcomes you can't control, realize that these thoughts are not helping you at the time.
"When we name our worries, we take away their power. We can examine them, ask where they come from, and decide how much of our attention they deserve." – Anne Bogel, 'Don’t Overthink It'
To distract yourself from intrusive thoughts, psychologists advise you to first think through and analyze the situation, understand what led to today's state, and understand its essence. After all, negative thoughts are those unresolved problems that remain unclear to us, as well as problems that may have already gone into the subconscious. From here, it follows that to stop the flow of problem-solving thoughts, you need to understand their essence, where they end, where they grow, and the basis of which problem they grow.
Carefully analyze this information flow: what is expected in your thoughts, and what are their topics? Try to guess what subconscious problem they may carry. Say what is bothering you in your mind or even out loud. Ask yourself the following questions and try to answer them honestly.
Strategy 2: Practice mindfulness practices
Mindfulness is a method for solving psychological conflicts. It involves self-awareness and understanding thought processes, emotions, and experiences in the present moment. It consists of constantly paying attention to sensations and impressions with the help of conscious breathing. This increases awareness, clarity sharpens, and acceptance of the moment sharpens.
"Mindfulness trains your brain to live in the present moment, where overthinking doesn’t have room to exist." – Nick Trenton, 'Stop Overthinking'
Where to start with mindfulness?
Find a quiet room or a place where no one will disturb you (over time, you will learn to practice mindfulness anywhere).
Sit comfortably, straighten your back (it shouldn't touch the back of the chair), put your feet on the floor, and open your eyes.
Look in front of you, take three or four deep breaths through your nose, and exhale through your mouth. Breath awareness is at the heart of mindfulness.
Gradually begin to breathe normally and close your eyes.
Focus all your attention on breathing: breathe calmly, feeling its rhythm and the surrounding silence.
Different thoughts will come to you. Do not push them away; accept them — they are entirely natural. Don't be critical of them; give them space to wander in your mind.
Shift your attention to your breathing. Thoughts naturally occupy a significant part of your time and attention. Practice focusing on your breathing.
Try to feel your body and remember the objects in the room. Later, open your eyes.
"A simple way to practice mindfulness is through focused breathing. Take slow, deep breaths, and pay attention to the sensation of air entering and leaving your body." – Nick Trenton, 'Stop Overthinking'
Strategy 3: Embrace journaling and creative expression
Reassessing values is an essential stage in the fight against destructive thoughts. It is enough to simply calm down and write down all life values and priorities in descending order. Set it aside for an hour or two, then look at this list again. It will turn out that the health of loved ones is more critical than losing a job, and a child's happiness is more important than life's disappointments.
"Journaling helps us process what's going on in our minds and hearts. Putting words on paper can bring clarity to situations that feel overwhelming in the moment." – Anne Bogel, 'Don’t Overthink It'
Sometimes, your thoughts describe the past day. Some days, there are dreams and plans; others, there is complete negativity, complaints, walking in circles, anger, or stupidity. Worries swirl in thoughts and spoil the mood. Write everything by hand and jot down whatever comes to mind. You can then burn, tear, or throw away your notes, and this will help shift your attention and overcome bad thoughts.
Strategy 4: Challenge negative thoughts
A good weapon against bad thoughts is good thoughts. Give them a countermeasure and a reasonable opinion for everything that is not good that arises in your head. Learn to see the other side of the coin, namely, its better side. Be more optimistic, and you will see that in all those bad thoughts and thoughts with which you are "fighting," there are also good moments and even more of them than you imagine.
"Don’t accept every thought that comes into your mind. Not every thought is true or worthy of your attention." – Anne Bogel, 'Don’t Overthink It'
Strategy 5: Schedule worry time
Excessive time spent thinking won't produce results, but a quick thought can be useful. Include 20 minutes of "thinking time" in your daily schedule. During this time, allow yourself to worry and think about everything you want. Then, move on to something more productive when the time is up.
"Setting a specific time to worry frees us from carrying those concerns with us all day long." – Anne Bogel, 'Don’t Overthink It'
Tip 6: Distract yourself with activities you enjoy
To effectively divert your attention from overthinking, try playing a board game, taking a hot shower, solving a crossword puzzle, talking to a friend over the phone, or, even better, meeting up in person.
If you notice that you have become sad and are having negative thoughts, you may become more anxious. Try to remember what brings you the most joy or satisfaction. For example, you might have a cozy place you want to visit, favorite books you reread with pleasure, or happy memories of time spent with children and family that bring a smile to your face and improve your mood.
"Immersing yourself in activities that bring you joy can disrupt negative thought patterns and allow your mind to reset." – Nick Trenton, 'Stop Overthinking'
You have to learn to switch. Interests and hobbies help with mental health conditions. Find a new hobby or pursue something you have been interested in for a long time but have yet to get your hands on (lack of money or time). Set yourself the goal of mastering specific skills and learning what you previously only dreamed of. Allow this new pursuit to capture your thoughts and engage you so much that you simply have no time left for boredom.
Strategy 7: Practice self-compassion
Experiencing constantly stressful events can exhaust our psyche in one way or another. In these moments, you need to be attentive and supportive of yourself. Don't beat yourself up for failures, don't force yourself to be as efficient as always, and give yourself time to restore your internal resources. Be a good friend to yourself.
"Talk to yourself like you would to someone you love." – Brené Brown, 'The Gifts of Imperfection'
Self-compassion is about the boundless acceptance and support we must provide ourselves, especially during difficult times. When you're not perfect, things don't work out for you, and life doesn't go according to plan, you can choose to comfort yourself and find those inner supports you can lean on to get through it. Kindness always goes hand in hand with patience, understanding, and warmth.
This step teaches you to love yourself even when you have nothing to be proud of. However, it is vital to stay within the bounds of adequacy. After all, true love is not connected with inflated self-esteem or escape from the authentic self. A nice bonus of developing self-compassion is that when you learn to show genuine care and respect for yourself, you will treat others the same way, significantly improving your relationships.
If your internal critics are too strong and manifesting self-compassion is a problem, contact a mental health professional. They cope well with such issues.
Strategy 8: Change your environment and self-care
Do not focus on the worst-case scenario; fill your life with warmer and richer colors. Do not give gloomy thoughts a reason to appear. Surround yourself with what you like and meet with those you love. They will create an atmosphere in which negativity and restlessness will not exist.
"Authenticity is a collection of choices that we have to make every day. It's about the choice to show up and be real. The choice to be honest. The choice to let our true selves be seen." – Brené Brown, 'The Gifts of Imperfection'
Visit exhibitions and concerts, and go to the cinema. Try to spend as much time as possible with people, learn new things, and share your impressions with loved ones. Visit the beauty salon and buy what you like. Pamper yourself. It is unnecessary to change your image or completely update your wardrobe globally. The main thing is to get positive emotions from the little things you arrange for yourself. In the evenings at home, don't let yourself be sad and think about bad things. Cook your favorite dish, read an exciting book, or relax with hot tea while watching a good movie. Do everything to feel as much joy as possible.
Strategy 9: Engage in physical activity
Another good way to combat negative self-talk is to engage in something that requires special attention and concentration. When you immerse yourself in an interesting task with pleasure, you can distract yourself from unnecessary negative thoughts and fill your head with the necessary ones that solve the work being done.
"When your body moves, your mind tends to quiet. Physical activity is one of the best ways to break the cycle of overthinking." – Nick Trenton, 'Stop Overthinking'
When bad thoughts begin to torment you, tire your body out with workouts. When the muscles work to the limit, the emotions recede. Sports are a great way to stay in shape and shed negativity. If you are not a fan of running and do not feel comfortable behind the machines in the gym, try fitness or yoga. The classes alone will cheer you up and help you organize your thoughts.
Strategy 10: Use positive affirmations and gratitude
For example, you constantly think about your shortcomings, dislike your personality and body, and sometimes think you are the weakest of everyone you know. You are tormented by the fact that you are worse than others. You constantly criticize yourself and look for your mistakes, which then revolve in your head and do not give you peace.
What to do in this case? Look for your good qualities; look at yourself from the other side. If you cannot find enough positive qualities or are unsure of yourself, ask your friends to express their opinions about you so they can support you. They will point out what they value you for, why you are an individual and a person, and why you should be respected. You will see that anxious thoughts will disappear very soon.
"Practicing gratitude invites joy into our lives." – Brené Brown, 'The Gifts of Imperfection'
The calming technique is to change negative thoughts to positive and life-affirming ones every time you think about something bad. Repeat to yourself that you are a strong person who can cope with all difficulties and that nothing is impossible for you. Force yourself to believe that you deserve only the best and nothing can stop you from being happy. At first, it may be difficult to say such things to yourself, but it will become a valuable and pleasant habit over time. By believing in your strength, you can cope with anxieties.
What to do if you overthink in specific situations
Some specific examples of obsessive thoughts and possible ways to manage them:
• Fear of control: Bad thoughts may consist of the belief that it is necessary to have absolute control over all situations. In this case, learning to accept that some things are beyond our control is essential.
"The first thing you need to remember is a mantra called the 4 As of stress management. These are avoid, alter, accept, and adapt. Avoiding things entails simply walking away from things you can’t control. Some things are simply not worth the effort and are best removed from our environments" – Nick Trenton, 'Stop Overthinking'
• Fear of loss: Sometimes, obsessive thoughts are related to anxiety about something important. It helps to set up a space to allow yourself to feel these emotions rather than surrendering them completely.
"Fear of loss can prevent us from fully enjoying what we have in the moment." – Anne Bogel, 'Don't Overthink It'
• Perfectionism: Obsessive thoughts can arise from the need for perfection in everything. It is essential to understand that perfection is unattainable and allow yourself to make mistakes.
"Perfectionism is self-destructive simply because there’s no such thing as perfect. Self-compassion is key. When we make a mistake, we need to embrace ourselves with kindness instead of punishment." – Brené Brown, 'The Gifts of Imperfection'
• Self-criticism: Some people are prone to obsessive self-criticism and negative self-evaluation. Learning to accept yourself with love and respect is important, even when you fail.
"When we practice self-compassion, we stop seeing our flaws as evidence of our inadequacy. Instead, we view them as part of the shared human experience." – Brené Brown, 'The Gifts of Imperfection'
• Stereotypes and perceptions: Obsessions can be related to stereotypes formed by specific sociocultural or personal influences. It is crucial to examine and discard harmful ideas.
"When we’re aware of the assumptions we’re making, we can stop them from dictating our thoughts and actions. We can choose to see beyond surface-level perceptions." – Anne Bogel, 'Don’t Overthink It'
Ask for help
If it is difficult to be alone with disturbing thoughts, share them with family, friends, or someone you trust. Need help managing on your own? Contact a specialist — LCSW or online therapy with a psychologist who knows how to listen, does not give assessments or advice, and helps to understand what is happening, moving at their own pace to improve life.
Discover book summaries on overthinking and more in the Headway app
As we've explored, overcoming overthinking involves acknowledging our fears, challenging negative thoughts, and embracing the beauty of imperfection. To deepen your understanding and find practical strategies for breaking free from overthinking, consider reading or listening to insightful book summaries like 'Don’t Overthink It' by Anne Bogel, 'Stop Overthinking' by Nick Trenton, and 'The Gifts of Imperfection' by Brené Brown in the Headway app.
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