Do you occasionally find it difficult to greet people and initiate conversations? When you manage to start one, does giving the discussion traction seem an elusive feat? Maybe you have to backbench while watching other colleagues outperform you in popularity. Why? Perhaps they have gone through the trouble of perfecting the skill of spontaneously making new acquaintances. No hassle though, you can redeem the time by reading this article to the end.
Several studies have marked the ability to communicate effectively as a significant contributor to highly successful people’s distinctiveness and social skills. There are a handful of books that can help you master the qualities of an excellent communicator. But, did you ponder on the scarcity of leisure just now? No hassle, as the Headway app comes to your rescue – with 15-min summaries of all their enriching titles.
So, are you ready to unveil the developed version of yourself as a great conversationalist to the world? Let’s get right to the task!
Impressions may cost you a lifetime
“There are two kinds of people in this life: Those who walk into a room and say, ‘Well, here I am!’ And those who walk in and say, ‘Ahh, there you are.’” Leil Lowndes
Growing up, you are likely to have read Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People. That was a superb read for its time. However, the short attention span, introduction of social media, and similar recent social dynamics have changed the book’s critical insights.
Are you meeting an old friend, a new acquaintance, or maybe a first-time prospect that will determine the course of your later life? The first ten seconds of your interaction — your conversation starter — are likely to decide how the story goes. And trust me, you don’t come by life-changing encounters every day.
Leil Lowndes, a communications coach for Fortune 500 executives, has some recommendations for making the most of all your human interactions. In How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships, Lowndes teaches easy-to-learn tricks, like asking open-ended questions, empathizing, using the correct tone of voice, active listening, and giving someone your full attention, making friends of any prospect.
Put your waxed leg first, then mimic their steps
Beyond the captivating “Hey there, how’re you?!” icebreaker, it would be necessary to understand how to make productive and meaningful conversations. Follow up a good first impression by cultivating a welcoming body language.
Carol Kinsey Goman, Ph.D., a leadership consultant, recommends some ten powerful body language hacks. Your smile, handshake, gesticulation, eye contact, facial expression, and undivided attention while listening all add a punch to conversations with new acquaintances. Observe their mannerism, and don’t fidget but do a subtle mimicry, or parroting, of their body language; this will send a signal of agreeableness to your conversation partner, be it a new friend, co-worker, or even educator.
Communication goes beyond rambling on who you are and what you have done. You’ll come to that as the conversation unfolds, but first, prioritize what to say – to be genuinely heard.
Learn their leanings, and praise them accordingly
It is your sincere interest in a person that is important.
Try to learn as much as possible about your new friend. Use the person’s name, ask: “Where are you from?" and inquire about their well-being, but do not grill them in the process.
Pass them the buck at every possible opportunity.
Permit them to go on and on about their interest. Virtually anyone would love to recount their achievements when allowed to do so.
An unnurtured or negative conversation naturally heads down the slope. Thus, an occasional compliment or kudos would be excellent feedback from your end. However, steer clear of flattery, which could give you away as trying too hard.
Conversations commonly gravitate towards finding out what the other person does or where they are from. When they eventually inform you about their passion or job, dwell more on the things you can relate to their interests. Emphasizing the points where your personalities and interests overlap serves as a natural adhesive to a good conversation that quickly cements the relationship.
Steal their hearts through the phone
Human interactions are growing more virtual by the day. However, that should not hinder your efforts at honing your social skills and initiating relationships that foster a better life and career. In the 20th century, it was the telephone. Business executives, sales personnel, and call center agents learned to answer the phone while smiling at a mirror.
With the advent of Smartphones and video calls, social interactions have moved between the ‘real’ and ‘virtual’ markers. An excellent trick to learn is to know the name of the other person and pronounce it well. Using a new acquaintance’s name during virtual calls helps them quickly cozy up to your person.
And all the cues recommended for the face-to-face encounters stand for your next video call. Well, maybe, except for the handshake.
Up your worth with a single night at the party
“At the end of the conversation, look the individual right in the eye. Say his or her name and proceed to curl all ten toes with the Killer compliment.”Leil Lowndes
There are reports of several multimillion-dollar contracts that were initiated at business parties. Naturally, it would take a person effusing an excellent aura to create relationships that lead to such a partnership. And in one night, too.
The party in question is not the everyday one you attend down the block, so it helps to find out about crucial attendees beforehand. Please do some research about your intended acquaintance; it will give you a lot of fuel when you initiate a conversation.
There may be cases where you don’t have a particular person in mind when attending a party or social situation. Lowndes recommends picking out a suitable prospect from the crowd, making eye contact, giving them a warm smile, and getting the rapport going. You never can tell where the ‘love of your life’ will surface.
Getting along with the not-so-amiable
It takes a wealth of patience to acquaint some people. Lowndes calls them – the Tigers. This niche is a step away from your everyday persona; they don’t fit any popular conventions. Nonetheless, you may have to win their patronage. Say you have a boss or a business partner who is an introvert and also qualifies as a ‘Tiger.’
“Small talk is about putting people at ease. Your unspoken answer to their unspoken question, ‘How do you like me so far?’ must be, ‘Wow! I really like you.’” Leil Lowndes
To keep you from blowing a fuse while interacting with ‘the Tigers,’ perfecting your emotional intelligence and conversation skills becomes essential. The Headway library includes power-packed summaries on the emotional intelligence discussion.
There are 92 whopping tricks in all to make you a communication maestro from Lowndes’ How to Talk to Anyone. Take advantage of the time- and pocket-saving features of the Headway app today. Your communication skills and relationships may just need a Midas touch of an enriching self-help read. And some 15 minutes is a meager sacrifice to pay for an all-around improvement to your personality, communication skills, and life.
