How to Write a Book About Your Life: My Journey from Idea to Authorship

Have you ever wondered how to write a book about your life — where to begin, what to include, or whether your personal experience is even worth telling?

One afternoon in November 2021, I decided to take a break from work and headed to my favorite café for a coffee.

Quick steps to write a book about your life

1. Choose a format, such as a memoir, autobiography, or essay

2. List meaningful life events

3. Group events by theme and timeline

4. Create a chapter outline

5. Establish a writing routine

6. Revise your manuscript with reader feedback

7. Choose between self-publishing and traditional publishing

What does it take to write a book about your life?

I thought I'd enjoy a quiet moment to disconnect from work, but then a notification popped up on my phone and changed everything: it was an email from Alba, an editor from Penguin Random House. She asked me to write a book with them. She'd discovered me through social media, where I regularly share content about my field of expertise: body language and unconscious communication. And that's exactly what they wanted the book to be about, the overall theme.

I remember feeling a mix of joy, excitement, nerves, and even fear. But deep down, that message made me incredibly happy. And the summary of 'The Artist's Way' by Julia Cameron, which is available in Headway's library, taught me that everyone is capable of creating great art.

Why write a book about your life? How I decided to write my real-life story

I always knew that at some point in my life, I'd want to write a book. But when the moment actually arrives, you can't help but feel unprepared or unsure of where to begin.

Of course, it didn't feel like an easy mission at all. In a way, I felt I had to write a book that covered the entirety of my professional life and personal story over the past twenty years. I wanted the book to include EVERYTHING I normally speak about in my conferences, courses, workshops, and so on.

But this time there was something new. I had to use a different way of communicating — an entirely new format. I've always considered myself quite good at capturing people's attention, whether during my lectures or through the content I create on social media. But now it was time to start something entirely new — writing a memoir. Still, I was absolutely certain about one thing: I had to write a book that felt unmistakably like me and my point of view. A book infused with my communication style. A book that felt authentic to me and future generations. 

Thankfully, I had the support of my editor, who taught me how to approach this daunting task and the project overall. They helped me understand how to structure my ideas and then shape the content. They also gave me advice on how to create a nonfiction book that feels solid, meaningful, coherent, and above all, useful to the reader.

In this article, I'll share everything I learned about writing memoirs and writing prompts, and how you can apply it when writing your own book. It was a transformative journey that helped me harness the power of creativity — you can learn how to do it too from the 'Big Magic' summary.

Memoir, autobiography, or personal essay? My choice

There are many ways to write a book about your life, whether it's personal experience, professional, or a mix of both. Because even if you choose to write about your work life, it's impossible to keep your soul, your personality, and your worldview away from it. And that's not a bad thing; in fact, it's what gives your book its unique authenticity and personality.

The first step is deciding on the approach. You've got a few options:

• Memoir: A memoir typically focuses on a specific part or chapter of your life. This can be a helpful format if you want to focus on some specific experiences or themes.

• Autobiography: Autobiographies span your life and/or career path. They aim to present the whole story and are usually written about public, historical, or remarkable figures.

• Personal essay: This is a space where the author reflects on their life experiences, thoughts, feelings, or ideas on a specific subject. You have more freedom to decide what you want to include and how much of yourself you'd like to reveal.

But no matter which format you choose, there's one non-negotiable principle I believe every book should follow: everything you write must have purpose and value for the reader. Be intentional with what you share and why. This guiding idea should be present on every single page you write in your first book.

My personal outline: From memories to manuscript

Albert Einstein once said that if he had an hour to solve a problem, he'd spend 55 minutes defining it and just five minutes solving it.

Writing a book is much the same. You need to spend a significant amount of time building the foundation, whether it's a full-length nonfiction book or short stories. It's about structuring your content in order to turn a chaotic tangle of memories into a well-formed narrative.

Here's a simple outline process with writing prompts you can follow to get started:

1. List all meaningful life events

2. Group memories by theme

3. Build a rough time period

4. Define chapter structure

5. Assign key ideas to each chapter

Everyone should find their own method to start with this. Since most of us are visual learners, I found it really helpful to use a giant whiteboard and free writing. I listed all the topics I wanted to cover, grouped by theme. The brainstorm started, and that whiteboard quickly filled up with arrows, circles, and things written, erased, and rewritten again.

Eventually, these clusters turned into what would become the chapter list of my book: an introduction, ten chapters, and an epilogue. If you're writing your life story, the chapters could represent different phases, even if they don't have to follow chronological order.

Once that structure is clear, the next step is to group, sort, and assign your ideas to each chapter.

I chose to make a list of every topic, sub-topic, tip, tool, and strategy I regularly talk about in training sessions or on social media. From there, it was just a matter of filing everything into its proper "drawer," from main characters to key events.

Take all the time you need in this phase — it'll make the writing step much easier. This stage reminded me of Lin-Manuel Miranda and how he created a structured and thematically rich story — you can check out the 'Hamilton' summary to see it for yourself.

Writing routine and revision: What actually worked

I had to create the process that worked for me. Here are the things that helped me stay consistent.

My writing schedule

For me, it was crucial to define a writing routine from the start. I think it's absolutely essential to have a plan you can rely on to meet your deadlines, whether self-imposed or set by a publisher.

I started by figuring out how much I could realistically write each day, and how many days per week I could commit to writing. I have no idea what life is like for a full-time writer, but like many of you, I had other professional and personal commitments that made it impossible to write at the times I might have preferred.

Avoiding distractions

So, at the beginning, it was all about finding a way to include a daily writing routine that could fit into my schedule. After lots of trial and error, I realized that the time period that worked best for me and my creative writing process was late at night, from 10 pm to 1 am. It was quiet, I wasn't likely to be interrupted, and I could truly focus on writing. Of course, to maintain the energy to write at that hour, I had to improve my sleep routine, exercise more, and even eat better during the months I was writing.

Then you need to determine how many days per week you can actually write. Developing writing skills is good, but the key is to be honest with yourself. Don't try to write more or less than you can realistically handle. If you set overly ambitious goals, chances are you'll end up frustrated — and that's never helpful.

How I revised the first draft of the book about my life

Another essential part of the process is discovering your style. You need to find a style and tone that feels natural — something you're comfortable with when sharing your entire life story. Your words should tell the world you've written them, and someone who knows you should be able to hear your voice in them. Avoid falling into the trap of being overly formal, as it might remove your authenticity.

Is it hard to write about your life? The emotional rollercoaster of writing about myself

If you ask me, "Is it hard to write about your own life?" I'd say "Yes," but it doesn't have to be harder than writing any other kind of book. Here are a few things that helped me simplify the writing process: 

• Ask yourself an important question: 

How does it feel to think that anyone in the world can read and know about your life story? It's a big deal you need to take into account.

• The difference between speaking about it and publishing

When speaking or texting someone, we're used to knowing who we're talking to, whether we're sharing something personal or professional. That gives us control over the message and who receives it. But that all changes when you write a book. You have zero control over who ends up reading it and learning all the details you've chosen to share. 

• Emotions can be overwhelming

When you share an authentic, true story, it can be overwhelming, whether from embarrassment, fear of exposure, or fear of criticism. That's why it's so important to be crystal clear about what you want to share and how far you're willing to go. Really think about how it makes you feel to know that anyone could read or buy what you've written on Amazon. Be honest with yourself now to avoid regrets later. 

• Be mindful of other people's lives

You also need to consider the other people you mention, including their shared experiences, projects, or stories. You might want to get their permission or change certain details like names, locations, and times. 

• Ask your closest friends and family to test-read

Try sharing some drafts with people close to you, friends, or family members. See what feedback you get. It'll also help you understand how you feel when someone reads your work.

• Main goal — your peace, not a perfect story

In the end, your book should feel honest to you and your future readers. You should feel at peace knowing anyone could read it, and not feel stressed, anxious, or uncomfortable about that. 

This kind of exposure is depicted in David Foster Wallace's stories. Even when writing about tennis, he reveals vulnerability and the spectrum of emotions. The 'String Theory' summary is definitely a must-read, and not only for tennis professionals.

How I chose my publishing path (and what I learned)

There are two main routes when it comes to publishing: self-publishing or going through a traditional publisher. Each has its pros and cons. 

Self-publishing gives you full control over everything — timelines, investment, number of copies, and distribution channels. You also get a higher profit margin. The downside is that everything depends on you, and you won't have the marketing and distribution power of a publisher, especially if you want a bestselling book.

With a traditional publisher, you'll feel much more supported. You'll have a team of professionals backing you up and guiding you through the process. They'll take care of marketing, distribution, and all the logistics. You won't have to invest anything upfront, and your earnings will come from book sales. The main con is a lower profit margin, and of course, you'll have to win the publisher's trust and interest beforehand, which isn't always easy.

In my case, I had a fantastic experience with my publisher, and I'm sure I'll always choose this path for future books. It's important to surround yourself with collaborators and the right influences, which is the point Austin Kleon proves in 'Steal Like an Artist.'

The resources that helped me most

As you've probably guessed by now, writing a book is a major adventure, and you'll need the right tools to go for it, even if you're already a good writer.

Before you start a book, find the support and inspiration along the way. For me, jotting down ideas in the moment (even if it meant voice memos at 2 am), using a whiteboard to map out my chapters, and leaning into social media for promotion made a huge difference.

But nothing was more helpful than learning from others who'd done it before. That's where reading the right books came in, and that’s exactly where Headway can help you too.

Start writing your own life story with Headway book summaries!

For many people, writing a book is one of the most thrilling and transformative adventures of their lives, and I truly encourage you to go for it. It's one of the accomplishments I'm most proud of in my professional journey. But even the most personal writing needs a little external inspiration. That's where Headway becomes a game-changer.

Headway gives you access to key ideas from the world's best nonfiction books, helping you build your mindset, improve your writing process, and stay motivated, one 15-minute summary at a time.

If you're thinking about writing your life story, here are a few powerful reads to check out in the Headway app:

• 'On Writing' by Stephen King – A practical, honest look at the writing life.

• 'Bird by Bird' by Anne Lamott – Insightful and funny advice on writing and life.

• 'The War of Art' by Steven Pressfield – How to overcome resistance and get your book done.

• 'Show Your Work!' by Austin Kleon – A roadmap to confidently sharing your voice with the world.

• 'Stillness Is the Key' by Ryan Holiday – For staying grounded through the creative process.

• 'Big Magic' by Elizabeth Gilbert – A permission slip for anyone who wants to live a creative life.

Don't just dream about writing your book — take the first step. Learn from the best through the Headway app. Start shaping your story today, and become a published author.

Writing a book should be something you enjoy, something that brings meaning and momentum into your life. And yes, some struggle is part of the process, but you should know how the satisfaction of finishing what you started makes it all worthwhile.

Happy writing — and happy Headway reading or listening!