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Summary of Untangled 

4.7 . 3550 reviews

Short summary

In “Untangled,” Lisa Damour, Ph.D., discusses seven transition phases that girls experience as they progress from childhood to adulthood. These phases are: - Harnessing emotions - Parting with childhood - Joining a new tribe - Planning for the future - Entering the romantic world - Contending with adult authority - Caring for herself Lisa Damour, Ph.D., has authored numerous academic papers related to education and child development. She is also the executive director of Laurel School’s Center for Research on Girls. Dr. Damour maintains a private psychotherapy practice where she specializes in working with teenage girls and consults and speaks internationally. She is also a faculty associate of the Schubert Center for Child Studies and a clinical instructor in the Department of Psychological Sciences at Case Western Reserve University. “Teaching your daughter to be assertive takes time and the first step involves acknowledging and validating her negative feelings.” ~ Lisa Damour, Ph.D.

Table of content

  • Summary of Untangled
  • About the author
  • What is Untangled about?
  • Who should read Untangled
  • Topics in Untangled
first key point

Developmental strand: a pattern to teenage development and a blueprint for how girls grow

Listen the first key point
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There’s a need to talk about teenage girls in a new way because people’s perception isn’t fair to girls or helpful to their parents. People talk about adolescence as if it’s bound to be a harrowing, turbulent time for teenagers and their parents. They make raising a teenage girl sound like a roller-coaster ride where the whole family hops on, white-knuckles their way through, and the parents hope that after all the ups and downs, their daughter steps off at the end as a good and happy adult. Life with your teenager doesn’t have to feel like a mess.

To give us a new and helpful way to talk about teenage girls, Dr. Damour organized the adolescent journey into seven developmental strands. These developmental strands reveal the achievements that transform girls into thriving adults. Having a map of adolescent development makes it easier for you to guide your daughter toward becoming the grounded young lady you want her to be.
When you comprehend what makes your daughter tick, she suddenly makes a lot more sense.
This summary aims to offer you a new way to understand your daughter, not tell you how to raise her. It helps parents untangle themselves from the emotional knots they get caught in with their teenage daughters. By providing you with a blueprint for the work of adolescence, this summary will help you to worry about your daughter less, offer her helpful assistance on her journey through adolescence, and recognize just how much developmental ground she will cover as a teenager.
While a teenager remains inconsistent in her behavior, she may suffer, but she does not seem to be in need of treatment… Rather, it is her parents who need help and guidance so as to be able to bear with her. ~ Anna Freud
second key point

Don’t miss the opportunity to let your daughter know that your position is one of concern, not judgment

Girls don’t dump their parents just for the sake of it. They pull away to start their journey on the seven developmental strands of adolescence as they part with childhood. By age 12, most teens feel a sudden internal pressure to separate themselves from almost everything that seems childlike. A girl’s pleasant relationship with her family is usually one of the first casualties.
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third key point

It is possible to manage the stress and rivalry that often arise when girls gain or maintain membership in a tribe

fourth key point

Understanding your daughter’s efforts to tackle emotions will allow you to maintain your sanity

fifth key point

Parents shouldn’t exercise their authority for the sake of displaying their power but to ensure safety

sixth key point

Channeling your daughter’s press for independence toward meaningful plans

seventh key point

Guiding your daughter as she enters the complex world beyond just friends

eighth key point

There’s no more powerful force in the home than a teenager’s drive toward autonomy

ninth key point

Conclusion

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What is Untangled about?

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Do you find yourself staring at your computer for long minutes, unaware of time slipping by? Do you enter a room and suddenly cannot remember why you stepped in the first place? Is it a herculean task for you to sit through ten pages of a book without reaching for your phone? If yes, your focus needs some work and fast.

Actually, yours is not a unique situation. Many adults like you have issues concentrating on a given task. However, in this fast-paced world of ours, you can’t afford to be not focused at all times. Thankfully, this article comes to your rescue! With the tips and tricks from Hyperfocus by Chris Bailey, you will get in the top percent of folks who have mastered the art of concentration.